Friday, November 16, 2012

The Second Door or The Revenge of Joan of Arc

Have I got a horror movie premise for you today!  A married expat American couple move to Ukraine and find an incredibly priced furnished apartment that seems too good to be true.   They move in and everything is great but as the weather starts getting colder they realize that the front door of the apartment is supposed to be a double door and that the second door has been taken off its hinges.  They find the door propped up in a supply closet filled with random junk, a Christmas tree, and cleaning supplies.  They pull the door out with some difficulty...it's incredibly heavy...and they take a look at the hinges and find there's nothing wrong with it.  They carry it down the hallway and attempting to put it on they discover that they have the door reversed and they need to rotate it to put it on.  It's then they discover that the opposite side has been carved in the shape of a praying Joan of Arc.  


They are mystified why anyone would not want this wonderful door displayed...plus it keeps the house warmer and a little quieter from the stairway traffic.  Little do they know that when the door is placed it opens a trans-dimensional portal to the spirit realm that makes Ghostbusters look like My Little Pony.  And through this portal steps the blood thirsty soul of Joan of Arc who returns to this mortal coil to seek vengeance against all English speakers for her murder nearly 600 years earlier...and this time, it's personal.

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